Friday, December 31, 2010

My Small life, 2010

I have nothing profound to say that would sum um 2010. I live a very small though satisfying life full of passion and people that I love. I did not plan to post a final blog for the year until I read North West Nature Nut's final blog. Thanks Nut!

A quick review of 2010 before the unknown of 2011 unveils.
January 2010

February 2010, we have belonged to Bomber for one year.

March 2010 Getting parsley ready for the new garden. That day it seemed as if we might have a sunny summer. That might have been the last nice week until July

April 2010

May 2010 Rudy; this must have been the one spot of sun in spring

June 2010 Overcast days make pretty pictures.

July 2010 and it still has not got above 69 degrees F

August 2 2010 Chris was the only brightness in the day.

September 2010 Getting ready for the hunt

October 2010

November 2010

December 2010

Thanks for the beautiful idea NWN!

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Raymond's sense of snow

One of the first things you might notice about us as a couple is that I like to putz, he likes to get-er-done. There are days when we clash but most of the time our life is lived as if Elohim fixed what was broken or missing in our souls.

Yesterday I felt a slight twinge of panic when I saw Ray heading out the kitchen door with a bag of shredded paper to cover the artichoke stub by the back fence. My guys keep the lawn mown without any nagging, they cook on that monster of a barbecue, they build the hard structures of the garden and set up watering systems so that our return from camping trips finds everything alive and well. Without complaint they buy the things I want for the garden. What they do not do is get dirt on their hands, that is my job. I think I deal fairly well with others using my kitchen (and leaving the evidence) or tracking across the carpet with whatever they stomped through outside. But the garden is my sanctuary. The mess is my mess, the order of things is my order of things. But there was Ray, headed out to do something, to add stuff in my holy place.

I am a woman with some sense. I've been wanting to mulch the artichoke too, but not just before sunset. I had in mind a mix of compost and leaves or straw (I don't have any leaves or straw) that would both feed and protect Miss Artichoke. We talked once about recycling shredded paper. Just when I think he doesn't hear me he proves otherwise. I got over myself, I hope my apology was sincere. After 36 years I should know to trust his sense of snow. It came, right on time this morning. Thanks Ray!

The wind is coming in from Alaska instead of Hawaii. The cold collided with the warm and made snow. There is a 50/50 chance of more snow tonight. It could get down to 29 degrees. I'll be happy for 2 dogs and a husband at bed time.

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

More more from the pantry in January

OK, I get that it isn't January yet. Last night (Monday, December 27) nearly everything about dinner came from the pantry or freezer. Chili and corn muffins. From the pantry, tomatoes and sauce, black beans, corn meal.
http://musicofrain.wordpress.com/2010/12/28/chili/

From the 2nd shelf of the pantry:
  • Dry Yellow (Huro?) beans
  • Dry Black beans (lots of black beans)
  • about 1/3 of a 10lb bag of white wheat flour
  • Dry Navy beans
  • Tempura batter mix
  • box of 7 grain pilaf mix
  • box of mushroom and wild rice mix
  • box of Zatarianes Jambalaya mix
  • box of Falafel Mix
  • Black Bean Soup mix
  • Pad Thai mix

Then there was a few forgotten jars of "stuff"

  • Costco size yellow mustard
  • Costco size mayonnaise
  • small bottle Ranch Dressing
  • Dijon Mustard
  • Country (coarse) Dijon Mustard

The original pantry post:

http://songs-of-coming-rain.blogspot.com/2010/12/january-is-eat-from-pantry-month.html

Monday, December 27, 2010

A Hole in the Clouds

All week the weather guy has been a prophet of wet gloom. He has assured me that I should expect to be wet should I dare set foot outside of the door. He tells of wind and the possibility of thunder showers. No sane woman would carry an umbrella in that kind of wet. I am not famous for my sanity. It has been a bone chilling kind of cold out. The wet sort of cold that hot soup and coffee cannot chase away.

I felt a twinge of rebellion while zipping my jacket to my chin before stepping out the door to the garden. Who goes out in late December to putz? I thought that I would at least have a look-see. Why I grabbed my stool and tools is a mystery. Cold isn't so cold when you are on a dirty mission.

My artichoke had not been trimmed back. It does not have a hopeful look for coming back to life. Since this is my first ever artichoke I am choosing to believe that it is still possible for it to spring back. I cleaned out the snapdragon stems, more like hay really. There is a creeping rosemary in that box that I was pretty sure would be an annual but it looks to be hanging on. A few tap-root weeds were hoping to squat near the artichoke but I evicted them with a toss over the fence. The box was given a bit more soil but I could see that what she really wanted was compost (coming darling, asap)

It felt so good to work with clippers and shovel that I turned to my Purple asparagus, intent on making the bed look like someone cared. Crack grass and chickweed, salmon berries (?) tomatoes that grew like weeds because of the homegrown compost used on the bed were mercilessly scratched and tugged at until they released their hold on the asparagus bed. There was a distressing amount of moss for a garden bed that should be neutral in PH. Sweetening the soil is on my to-d0 list. So is adding a layer of fresh compost and steer manure. Yuck, I know, but it sure does make happy asparagus and happy asparagus is giving asparagus.

I only intended to putz. When the asparagus bed was about 25% done my arthritis began to assert herself, letting me know that I needed to stop for a while. But I'll be back.

Carrots, a few shallots and an onion or two, missed at harvest are all that are in the garden this winter. I had forgotten about these leeks. Rather pathetic looking little things I think. Moss in the square-foot-garden too. Buggers! Actually, the garden is telling me that she needs me and to come back soon. I will.

For now, I am attempting to stay content by getting my seed order ready. It doesn't seem too soon to start with a plan for next years Toy Box. Peas AND fava beans can settle into their squares come Lincoln's birthday. Maybe the ground will stop being squishy by then. Even before the Presidents birthday I have a plan that will have me gardening. To celebrate the new year I will start a tray of lettuce and another of spinach. As soon as my TSC order gets to my house I will start a pot with purple artichokes. There are also the custom fit square-foot-garden cloches I am working on. I can do those without a zipped up jacket.

Why is the south wind feeling so cold? Maybe because it is wet? Cloudy with just enough wind to force open the occasional hole in the clouds. A range of 40's for our temperatures. A high of 47, a low of 43. Said to be cooling off enough for the possibility of snow before the week ends.

Sunday, December 26, 2010

January is “Eat From The Pantry” month

In January I try to go through my pantry and freezers to feed my family for the month. I like to spend as little as possible, buying only fresh dairy, eggs and a few fresh vegetables for Ray's lunches.

My pantry is probably supposed to be a linen closet but I like to use it for a pantry. It is probably too hot in winter since the back wall is up against the fire place. Since we are talking about putting up more produce from the garden this coming year I will probably need to move the pantry to a cool, dry place. but for now I am only interested in using what is there.

Just from the top shelf, up over my head and out of sight:
  1. Two unopened packages of Splenda packets (how did that happen?)
  2. about 1/2 cup brown and red rice mix
  3. one 14.5 oz can coconut Milk (might just toss that, it has been there a LONG time.
  4. 1/2 bag of stick pretzels
  5. jar of dry garbanzo beans
  6. jar of red lentils
  7. small jar of adzuki beans
  8. Package of Bakers Bittersweet Chocolate
  9. about half a package of Bakers German Chocolate.
  10. Open box of Whole grain Pancake mix
  11. Open box of whole grain Baking Mix
  12. Open box of Pumpkin Pancake mix
  13. Open box of white elbow Marconi
  14. Powder Milk and Gluten flour that I use with the bread machine
  15. Bay leaves
  16. Poppy Seeds
  17. Dill Weed
  18. Chopped dry onion
  19. Cinnamon

This is just the top shelf. I am not sure if I will keep the boxes of pancake and baking mix. I bought the pumpkin mix last year and the baking mix last summer but I don't know when I bought the whole grain pancake mix. I'm thinking I should toss the pancake mixes, whole grain products do not stay nice in heat.

Does Splenda go bad?

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

It wasn't exactly a Christmas Bird Count

Belted Kingfisher; Fort Casey Ferry Landing on Whidbey Island.

Most of my morning was spent at the dentist for my semi-annual visit with the hygienist. She is sweet enough but sitting in her chair is not my idea of a good time on one of the rare PNW pretty winter days. Double that sentiment on December 21, the shortest day of the year. From sunrise at 7:56 AM (that is 4 minutes before 8 AM if you think like I do) to sunset at 4:17 PM we do not have much daylight to play in. I am good about brushing and flossing, I don't know why it takes so long to polish my teeth but I've been seeing the same dentist and hygienist for years and we like to get caught up on each others lives. It was close to 11:00 before I was out of the chair and on my way to Whidbey Island with Ray and Rudy Valentine.
Our normal plan is to not have a plan. Ray got some pictures for me from the ferry deck while I sat in the truck with Rudy, waiting for my Advil to kick in. I have a nasty case of TMJ from a minor motorcycle wreck when I was 18. A trip to the dentist reminds me that my jaw is falling apart quicker than my teeth are succumbing to old age. Looking at his pictures reminded me of the days we used to participate in the Christmas bird count on Tweeter. Rudy does not have the same attitude toward birds that we do. He would love to catch one for lunch, not just count them. At least I think that is what all the singing is about when he sees one.
The short trip to Whidbey Island. The sky looks brighter across the sea than over Mukilteo.

First Stop, Langley, Washington on Whidbey Island.

I tried to get Rudy to sit by the boy and his dog, but Rudy doesn't like brass dogs any more than he likes ceramic bunnies. He was having nothing to do with Langley's brass boy.

Brass boy must have thought it was Mardi Gras. He has beads on.

Good ol' Bug Bear wasn't afraid of Brass Dog. He sat bravely for a picture.

The little park at the Langley Marina. For only $250 a night you too can wake up to this view. There are houses to rent. Between us we didn't have money for a cup of coffee so we will not be staying at the charming little house any time soon.

The brand new Ferry "Chetzemoka" that makes the run between Fort Casey and Port Townsend. I know that there is a reason behind the name. I am sure it is a contest winner and has a kewl meaning. But I don't get it. I know what a "moka" is, a popular Washington coffee drink (or is that Mocha?). But what is a Chetze? Ray's only comment was that someone needs to tune the engine. He thought it was making too much black exhaust for a new diesel.

The State Park at Fort Casey was nearly deserted except for an old guy in a Subaru who probably was counting birds for Christmas and a younger man who came down the trail from the Fort, sat on a picnic table and played his trumpet to the cold wind, probably until the trumpet got too cold for his lips to press against. Beautiful view, good music and interesting old guy counting birds while we ate our simple lunch in the truck looking at the birds.

From the truck we saw Golden Crowned Kinglets (a first for Ray), Zebra (or is it a white crown?) Sparrow, Song Sparrow, a Northern Flicker and a Spotted Tow Hee. There was a bunny too. There were more but as soon as I rolled down the window to take a picture, Rudy started singing that song of his and they all scattered. We hope to spend New Years Eve at Fort Casey but I think Ray works that night. We at least hope to get there sometime in January. Rudy can stay in the trailer while we say hello to the birds.

January is when we usually see Scotters in the Keystone ponds. It is so close to January that we made a stop at the ponds on our way back to the Clinton Ferry to look for them. To our mild disappointment they were not there. Common Mergansers and Buffelheads were in the ponds but no Scotters. On the ride back to Mukilteo we were given a window seat. There were flocks of birds at the ferry landing. I put my binoculars on them to see if I could discover more than the usual cormorants and buffel heads among the flocks of black birds.

Scotters. There were flocks of them at the Clinton docks. We've seen them here before but usually we find many more that are easier to see at Keystone. Whoo-hoo! We did get to see our favorite January bird (in December) before we left the island.

Remember those birds we saw at Mukilteo before we set out on our adventure? The birds that reminded us that this was a good time of year to see Scotters?

They were Scotters. (Yep, I can see that two of them were Buffelheads or Golden Eyes)

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

A little of this and that

First light is softly penetrating low clouds. It assures me that I did not miss the historic Solstice eclipse. My neighbors bare pear tree makes an eerie view against the gray morning. It is almost a haunted setting for the day ahead. White Christmas is rare in the Pacific Northwest. We are quite fond of them when they do come but snow season is still a month away. We love bright Christmas lights for the cozy romance they bring to these dark December days.

The January Sunset Magazine came just the other day. It has me itching to garden, to cook and to travel. There was a feature article about a northern California family who do not fill a can of garbage in a year. Right now I am looking at two grocery sacks and a Costo Chex box sitting on the kitchen floor waiting to go to the trash bin. I don't want to make a big footprint, but I am sure that I do. One wasteful habit confronts me each morning before I am awake enough to think about the impact. My beloved Keurig coffee maker with its little plastic cups of ground coffee. I see the top of a carton of half and half in one of the sacks waiting to exit the house. Somewhere in one of those brown bags are the contents of my vacuum cleaner. I like my Dyson. It does not use bags and lives a long time. But I wonder if there is a better way to dispose of the waste. I see a used container of almond milk, used daily in my morning smoothie with a dollop of yogurt from a plastic tub. The flavor comes from berries that I find in clear plastic containers, probably shipped from Chili. This will take some thinking through. I am a smart woman, I can figure this out.

In the Garden: I enjoy reading Sunset's PNW garden advice. Sunset and The Westside Gardeners PNW timetable have often kept me from starting too late or too early. The Sunset guide has me in the mood to go shopping (was that me that was writing about cutting back?)
Grow a new rose. I am all over that! Something that I intend to learn to do this year is start a cutting garden. A new rose or two would fit the scheme! In Robe I had two roses that I adored. One was a deep dark sexy red that Jason rescued from a new home owner. It did not fit into her gardening scheme. It provided large flowers on long stems for the many years it lived with us. The other Robe rose was a yellow David Austin. More flowers than me or the bees knew what to do with. There was a season when I thought I would stick to all purples, lavenders and shades of cinnamon to salmon in the front flower garden. No yellows, pinks, reds or white. Now all I want are seasonal blossoms for my table. Last year I got sick of taking pictures of the same color again and again. I want wild abandon in the cutting garden and a new rose seems like a good place to burst out.

The Westside Gardener's "Vegetable Timetable" by Travis Saling
http://westsidegardener.com/quick/timetable.html

Fresh from the garden in January. Did you know there was something fresh from the garden in January? I have carrots in my garden. I should have kale and Brussels sprouts but I did not get my act together in July. Sunset is telling me that I can also have Jerusalem Artichokes fresh from the garden in January. They are far lower on the glycymic index than potatoes and easier to grow in the PNW than Sweet Potatoes. Since I garden in containers I should be safe to give them a go. Looks like they will need some tall support. I'm going to add that to my list of hard scape projects for Ray and Chris.
  • Wooden dowel clothes dryer (they come from China now and the price has shot through the sky!)
  • Ladder type trellis for vine crops.
  • Cold frame for the garden (why did I sell all my old window frames?)
  • Box garden with supports for Jerusalem Artichokes
  • Deck cover.

Now, to get ready to visit the Dental Hygienist. After that, Ray and I are going to Whidbey Island for the afternoon. I wonder what I have for a picnic?

Deborah.... who is delighted with the gray headed "angel" Not all of us angles are young and beautiful on the outside.

Monday, December 20, 2010

It's beginning to smell a lot like Christmas

We do not have a tree this year. We talked about going to get a little Charlie Brown tree for $5 from a neglected farm in Machias (between Lake Stevens and Granite Falls on Highway 92) but sadly (or not) when we drove by the farm was closed. As far as I can tell, a Christmas tree is pure pagan so I'm not really broke up about it. I've read the doo-dah's about it being evergreen like Jesus or something like that. I am not convinced. It still seems as pagan as a yule log. None the less, it is one of the scents that I enjoy this time of year.

The view out my window is in shades of deep green and gray. There is a damp chill in the air that persists. Even so, I put a jacket on me and another on Rudy; tucked my garden gloves and clippers into a paper grocery bag and walked to the green area behind the house. As much as he likes to cuddle, Rudy is a terrier at heart and needed to run and hunt rodents even if he needed to wear a jacket in the field. After all he is part chihuahua and longs for warmer places than western Washington. We made one loop around the pond with a side trip to the creek and I had enough boughs without doing damage to any one tree or wild holly. I did make a stop in the front yard for Laurel leaves and Spanish lavender that should have been trimmed at summers end to complete the bundle. Add new ribbon to old glass jars and the effect becomes all that I hoped for.

The last of the Christmas Cookies went with Ray to Kimberly Clark last night. They were just a day ahead of stale. Two weeks with the Jr-high spoiled my Christmas Cookie Plans. Not to worry. I have more ribbon and jam to give away. There are a few more biscotti that are fresh, wild blackberry and strawberry jams and Ray plans to make his mother's Nutz and Boltz to stuff into little bags. That should be enough. And if it isn't, please know that in my heart I wanted to find something expensive and unique for you, but it isn't happening this year.

By the way, The idea for pretty jars of greens came from reading Northwest Nature Nut at http://www.naturenutnotes.com/2010/12/holiday-goodness.html

The Jam idea was stolen from Momma Pea of A Homegrown Journal at
http://ahomegrownjournal.blogspot.com/2010/12/dear-mama-pea.html

Saturday, December 11, 2010

Reclaiming Shalom

I am taking back my house one corner at a time. I never lost my home like so many others. There are three men living in my home. I am related to all of them. Sometimes my house starts to look like a flop house or a drop off your stuff, cook and run because there is no time to clean up after yourself. I get it, I've sure done it. Let me back up a little bit.

I am the keeper of the keys at our house. As the only female, I am the one who wants my space to be more than functional even IF we never have anyone over because my guys need to sleep after working graveyard. Though no one else will see it or appreciate it I want vacuumed carpets and clean counter tops. I want the laundry folded and put away. I want the cupboard doors free of yucky greasy finger prints and the stove wiped clean after something has been fried. I don't even mind washing the pots that have been stacked near the sink (next to the empty bottles that have not made it to the recycle bin). I could fret and fuss all day. I want my corner to be Deb ready when I come out to settle in for time in the Word, for prayer and to check out what is going on at facebook. There is no peace on earth to be found in my little corner! How am I expected to pray for my friend and fellow teacher, Eva, whose class I have been subbing in because this young mother has developed an infection in the lining of her lungs and can hardly take a deep breath, never mind that it is hard for her to just get dressed she is so run down. How can I pray for my Uncle Chuck who is scaring my mom with his blood infection (whatever that is?) and trip to hospital? And what about my other dear friend and fellow teacher, Crystal who is also home sick, though she is also young and strong. I just read on facebook that her husband has lost his job, I need my peaceful corner to pray for Crystal. And c'mon, my Pastor has been in and out of the hospital, his wife, another fellow teacher, is tightly wound and trying not to fret, don't I need my corner for that? Oh, and Ray, who has the unhappy job of sending guys home early from work just when they need the money the most, because management doesn't want to do the job. These beloved friends and family need to be prayed for and there is no peace in my place on earth!

Contentment is an inside job. That is the words that used to greet me at my desk in Robe Valley. Contentment is not about the circumstances in my living room. It isn't about wishing someone else had vacuumed or rebooted the dishwasher. It is about the peace that comes because my Savior, my Y'shua has Shalom for me that is greater than my irritation at the family I love for not treating me like the queen of everything. A place on earth to meet with my Lord is nice, but nicer still is my Lord dwelling in me. No props needed. So I lean against the back of a chair, catch my breath and begin to remember just who it is that I serve, that there is much for me to do for those who live in my house, it is my pleasure to serve them as unto my Lord. I only fret when I get fussy that they are not serving me. It isn't even true that they don't serve me, they do so much for me.

It has been a crazy week. I have loved just about every moment. Today is the Sabbath, but I was looking for the wrong kind of rest. It is my soul that needs to rest in the Spirit. I intend to take back my house a corner at a time just for the joy that it gives to all of us, but my rest will be in Y'shua. He is my Peace on Earth, Shalom is here, even in the clutter. Today I want to bless the mess with the love given to me by my Lord, praying while I polish; sharing the soul rest that has been given to me on this Sabbath Day.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Legacy

I know next to nothing about Mrs. Edwards except that her husband was a politician. I saw this quote on Breathless Expectation, a blog I have only reciently discovered.

"The days of our lives, for all of us, are numbered, we know that. And yes, there are certainly times when we aren't able to muster as much strength and patience as we would like. It's called being human. But I have found that in the simple act of living with hope, and in the daily effort to have a positive impact in the world, the days I do have are made all the more meaningful and precious. And for that I am grateful." -elizabeth edwards

Sunday, December 5, 2010

The Light of the World

Spent a quiet evening at home, just Ray and I on the 4th night of Channukah remembering Y'shua, the light of the world.

Again Jesus spoke to them, saying, "I am the light of the world; he who follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life." John 8:12 RSV


As long as I am in the world, I am the light of the world." John 9:5


But where is Y'shua/Jesus now? Where is the light? The Word made flesh, born to the woman, where is he? The man, the king of Israel, bruised, betrayed and bloody by the hand of men whom he so loved, where is he? Didn't he say that as long as he is in the world that he is the light of the world?


"You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hid. Nor do men light a lamp and put it under a bushel, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house. Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven. Matthew 5:14-16


We who are his servants have his light, his truth. For a Messianic like me, Channukah is not about a romantic flame, it isn't about jelly doughnuts and good food. The candles and the food, the traditions of giving are all part of Channukah but they are not what make the eight days precious to me. Remember Acts chapter 2? All were gathered in a room after the 50 days of Shavuot (Pentecost) when suddenly the room was filled with the sound of a roaring wind (a mighty groaning Spirit, AENT footnote) and fire sat upon every one of them. The Spirit appeared to them like tongues of flame. It was the Channukah of the Spirit of Elohim, The servant lit all who followed him, giving light to the world. Y'shua lives in me, in each of us who believe that he is the Messiah, the Son of the living Elohim.


For you have died, and your life is hid with Christ in God. Colossians 3:3


And how have you who believe died?


I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me; and the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. Galatians 2:20


Our life is the light of truth. Each of us who believe has experienced this life at a point in time. The Sprit of Elohim lives in us so that the Light of Life, the Messiah, is in the world because he lives in me, in you who believe. Let the light of your life shine before men in such a way that we give glory to Elohim.


as it is my eager expectation and hope that I shall not be at all ashamed, but that with full courage now as always Christ will be honored in my body, whether by life or by death. Philippians 1:20

Saturday, December 4, 2010

Happy Holidays

As close as I could come to a wreath. The frosty grass that should not be growing around my paving stone. YHVH give grace on this 4th day of Channakah

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Kislev 25, The First Night of Channukah

It makes sense to me that a whole week is given to celebrate the light of the world. On our calendar, December 1st was the start of Chanukah or Hanukkah (however you choose to transliterate the Hebrew characters) I'm still not very good at the traditions. I was raised with Christmas. I still cherish Christmas breakfast with my family. But I have come to a place in my life that I look forward to the 8 days of Chanukah

Just about everyone who follows "The Way" knows that the only place in the Bible that speaks of Chanukahs in the New Testament.
And the Feast of Dedication occurred in (Jerusalem) and it was winter. And Y'shua/Jesus was walking into the Temple in the porch of Shleemon/Solomon. And the Yehudeans/Judeans surrounded him and said to him, "How long will you hold over our souls if you are the Mashiyach/Christ? Tell us openly. Y'shua answered and said to them, "I have told you and you do not believe! Yochanan/John 10:22-25
The center candle on the Channukah Menorah is the Servant which brings light to the others, just as Y'shua came into the world to bring light to us. He is the one who lit the flame of Acts 2 in the upper room. He is the one who said to let your light shine. Consider lighting a Menorah this week and learning of the Light of the World. Often it is said of Christmas that it is a time of magic for children, a time when adults become like children. For the community of believers in Y'shua/Jesus we are encouraged to leave childish things behind (1 Corinthians 13) The Light of the World is Truth. It is truth that illumines men, not made up explanations about candy canes and evergreen boughs.
As Messianics we believe that Y'shua was born during the fall feast of Sukkoth but that he was conceived during Channukah. John Parsons of Hebrew for Christians teaches that Channukah is probably a 2nd Sukkoth celebration, a rededication of the Temple after it was defiled at the time of the Maccabaeus. So again, it makes sense to me that we celebrate the Light of the World, the very Son of Elohim, The Word made flesh who came to dedicate us as the temple of God.
Want to join our celebration but do not know where to start? Hebrew for Christians is a perfect place. A quick google or bing search (Messianic Channukah) will bring all kinds of pages for you to read. Be careful, there are many pages that are strictly tradition. Interesting to read but not honoring to the one who came to illumine your soul, to give you life by giving his life. Keep it simple but ask the Spirit of Elohim to open your eyes. He will not let you down.
"…I HAVE told you and you do not believe!" Yochanan 10:25b
But those who did receive Him He gave to them authority that they might be sons of Elohim, those who have believed in His Name. Yochanan 1:12

Aramaic English New Testament