Hard years make an easy Thanksgiving.

Some beach on Whidbey Island

The Christmas after Ray's mother died was difficult. Jewel was the definition of Christmas for my husband. We slogged through it because that is what we were supposed to but it was horrible. Her death came back fresh and sharp for all of us that year. Christmas stopped that year.

Today is Thanksgiving 2012. It is still dark, my day has not started yet. Before the last pie goes into the oven or the bird starts the long slow roast, before the football games or another NCIS marathon pulls me in, I have a moment to give my thanks to YHVH for that difficult year.

It strikes me as odd that a day has been set aside for giving thanks to God for bringing us through another year just to dash out the door to get more stuff. We will eat a sumptuous meal as a prelude to shopping. "Thanks for what we got, now help me to get more... amen" The best thing about not doing Christmas is not shopping. It isn't that shopping is horrible, but finding a parking space is nasty, worrying about break-ins are fretful, feeling guilt for spending too much, only to have that guilt turn around on Christmas when you realize that you did not spend enough or that your gift is too low rent to compare to the beautiful stuff someone else bought you is embarrassing. I like the lights, I like the Christmas morning feeling, I love that my family will still include me on Christmas (I am hard to get along with). But I do not really like Christmas.

The second year after Jewel's passing, Ray made a menorah It was high time for a new tradition. We ate a lot of Jelly Doughnuts from Tim's and read about the Light of the World. We walked, we still ate a standing rib roast (there are some traditions that must be kept), cookies and clam dip. We talked a little bit about Jewel, about my parents, our sisters and brothers and were thankful for each of them. We talked to God about our sons.... the Gather's were right, uncertain days can be faced because Y'shua/Jesus lives.

Today we will eat a turkey. We will pray for our families. We will love our son's, we will remember Leah and Tyler who were a precious part of our family for a couple of years, we will pray for them and their new family. It will probably be a quiet day. We will try to remember the people in New Jersey and New York whose Thanksgiving may feel like there is less to be thankful for. We will be praying for Ray's brother Rich, across the country from us, spending his first Thanksgiving without his beautiful Kimberly who died too young. And if we are very lucky, we will get out for a walk while Ray can still walk and breath in the beauty of the natural world around us. Just maybe we will pack a left-overs picnic tomorrow and take a trip to Coopville or Leavenworth to shop for books and doo-dahs just because we still love to give.

This whole-lotta blah-blah-blah is the result of reading Ben Hewitt's Post. Not For Sale by Ben Hewitt

Happy Birthday my Friend-eth

August 26

Today is Val's birthday. Maybe you know her as Mrs. Wold, a title she accepts with joy. So many call her friend. Even those who call her "teacher" call her friend. She is one of those rare souls who put their own life on the back burner for the sake of others. We have laughed together, prayed together and just been together in silence (more her than me).

There were moments in my life when someone spoke a cruel word to me, she was there to lift me up without a single ugly word about the one who spoke. When church people avoided me because of the path my precious son was on, she came to me, hugged me, prayed with me instead of for me. She has approached me, worried not that she offended me but that she offended our God while speaking to me. Honestly, sometimes I am at a loss, not knowing how to respond, not feeling offended, but seeing her pain, her desire to make sure she is right before God. I love her.

Anytime I show her some new found do-da on the school soft-ware she lights up and talks to me like I am brilliant. The truth is, I just had too much time on my hands.

There was a time when I would wonder, "What does she want from me?" because just about EVERYONE who flatters me is setting me up to give something to them. Not Val. It was difficult to not brace myself for what may come next when she voices something positive about me, something I am sure is not actually true. When she tells me something honest, it is not to ask for anything from me. She gains my heart. A friend who loves at all times.

Happy Birthday dear Val.

Black Friday on Whidbey Island

The Beach at Oak Harbor on a beautiful Black Friday

Every year, since Chris and Jason were young enough to need a reward for being "good at grandma's house," Ray and I have built a tradition of getting out to have fun with our family on what we used to call Black Friday. I say used to call it black friday because the meaning has changed. Back in the day, black friday meant that we did not shop or indulge in materialism the day after giving thanks to YHVH-God for all he has provided for us. It was also our reward for our restless sons who had abandoned their overalls and barn boots to dress nice and use the table manners we practiced at home, at grandma's table. They would rather have been out with the wild things. Now Black Friday just means that merchants are in the black on the Friday after Thanksgiving (if they are willing to wait that long) because of America's need to camp in a parking lot so that they can be the first of the crowd to fight for one of five discounted TV's.




Deb and Rudy Valentine at Fort Casey

 I digress; we made a picnic of turkey sandwiches and pie, grabbed our cameras, GPS's, dogs and winter jackets for a trip to Whidbey Island to go geo-caching and birding.

Bomber and Rudy

Please do not get me wrong. I am not against Christmas. Jason and Ray have promised to put up lights for me this weekend. Chris has been shopping. As I keyboard I am sipping my morning joe from one of my Christmas mugs. What I am against is the wild materialism that never brings lasting joy.

Killdeer

Christmas cookies are fun to make and give away. Dressing up in reds, greens and bright blues, accessorised with goofy socks, santa hats and gaudy flashing light jewelry is fun for me. That is a lot for someone who does not officially celebrate Christmas. I love my children and family and participate with them on a day that has deep meaning and precious memories. But do I think the Messiah was born in a manger on December 25? Not even!

The Olympics from Fort Casey

What is Black Friday to me? It is a day to spend with people we love, doing what we love. A day to extend our attitude of Thanksgiving, not just for our health, what we have, or what we have survived in the past year. It has become a day to show our love to each other. We bring our imperfect love with our sandwiches and spend a day outside of the house, away from our screens. We are far from being a perfect family. Ray and I parented by the seat of our pants. Our poor boys have had to struggle and adjust to our dysfunction. But we love each other. We are all for one, one for all even though each of us needs our space on occasion. Black Friday reminds us to come out of our corner (maybe more accurately, to come out from behind our screens), without TV, without gifts, to simply share a meal, listen, and play.

Ray tucks Rudy into his jacket to give him relief from the cold wind

Black Friday seems to make the upcoming holiday season all the more precious. Ray and I celebrate Channakua. Chris has a child like delight in the "magic" he can make for Christmas. He loves being Santa at events. As a fireman-EMT and a emergency room worker, he sees enough horror to permanently mess up his attitude toward humanity. But he still loves to spread joy to those around him. Jason does not really love or hate Christmas. He indulges friends and family with gifts whenever he is able but would rather not get up early to go visit extended family or even open gifts. All Ray and I know for sure is we love our Y'shua-Jesus and are grateful for these boys YHVH has loaned to us.

One of the tiny little Whidbey Island Black Tails

We talked, we laughed, we saw things we have seen so many times before. We walked trails we have walked before. We marveled at the change and took comfort at everything being the same. We loved. We renewed our hearts and stretched our legs. We felt the wind on our faces and watched children fly their kites in the same wind, on the same grass that we have flown kites on, the very place my parents took me and my brothers to fly kites. Maybe for their Christmas and Ray's Hanukkah I will buy everyone a kite. Maybe I'll just print pictures. No one can go back in time, even with a kite on a windy day.

Rudy and Bomber after a long day.

As long as YHVH gives me the strength I will spend Black Friday in the car, going someplace where we only have to buy gas, to eat turkey sandwiches, to remember a fresh how much I love my boys and my man. Life has been known to throw some stones at us. We have come close to breaking again and again. But always we find that under it all are the everlasting, loving hands of YHVH. No one knows what a day will bring. Buying gifts, wrapping them in pretty paper to be ripped open by a loved one brings a moment of happiness. Nothing wrong in that. But joy comes from hearts connecting. And maybe, at the end of the day, sitting quietly together, tired but satisfied, taking the same ferry ride back home that we have taken hundreds of times before. Remembering that contentment is an inside job, not something that I can buy for someone else.

Happy Holidays (said the old woman who doesn't celebrate Christmas but who does celebrate)

Party at Ben and Rebecca's

A Whole Lot of Nothings

After almost 35 years of making Easter Baskets for my family I got a great idea. Someone else should be in charge of Easter Baskets. On Easter morning there were no jelly beans, no bright cello "grass" or chocolate bunnies. My Easter basket was a small cardboard box that made squeaky noise. Welcome to my world (from left to right) Bertha, Miss Purdy, Stella (formally known as Pecker Head because of her habit of pecking at the sides of the baby box ALL night long) and Lil'bit. When they came to my house they were just downy little black fuzz-balls. I live a very small life. I work from home, I've been almost a year now without a car and my walking partner, Connie, has retired and travels. Since the Nuggets have come into my life I have a reason to get up and get dressed at the start of every day....I do not want the neighbors to see me in my robe when I go out and let the girls out.

As a gardener, the most upsetting thing I have witnessed this year is not the lousy weather hitting most of the United States, it was the television coverage of the Japanese Tsunami. It made my small life, my small scale troubles seem utterly pointless. In America, when we think of emergency preparedness, gardening skills are on the list of top 10 skills. Then I watched that wave cover the Japanese farm land. I was sick for the people of a tiny nation that took care of themselves. Really, the nuclear disaster was secondary to the farm disaster. It has taken me this long to settle in my heart that God is still in control, that He is still Merciful and can be counted upon no mater what this world throws at us. The simple things in life are still the good things.

The little garden is still coming along. After a nasty spring we are on our second clipping of lettuces. Radishes have been eaten and replanted and eaten again. Even small lives go on and the joy of Elohim is still my strength to rejoice for the gift of today as well as being able to face an uncertain tomorrow.

The good thing about the tsunami, the tornadoes, the droughts, floods and the price of gas (we only have a surban now)? Everything, anything, is a chance to practice thankfulness, to rejoice in my small life and the joy that those around me infuse into my days. Little potatoes and plan old onions are a good reason to celebrate life. L'chime! Life is worth the living because Y'shua lives!

Ground Hog's Day

It is still early but it looks like there will be shadows. Here in western Washington it can be difficult to tell which 3 hours was spring. Blooming daffodils are probably a better tell than a rodent who may or may not crawl out of bed to see his shadow. Maybe daffodils are no better than Phil at letting me know when it is spring. I have had to put on a heavy coat for my daffodil walks.

The garden looks like such a wreck today. The dopey mess in front of box 2 is supposed to be killing grass for the next box that will be going in this spring, but all it does is look junky. I should care, but I am into what can be done with the carrots (I need the squares for peas and fava beans) and the new range (stove with oven) that will be delivered to my house tomorrow. WooT! The old one simply will not brown anything, baked or roasted, though Ray has changed elements, timers and thermostats. (he tried to reuse and refresh, not because he is green but because he really is Scottish) Ray wanted to put down new flooring first but the stove came on sale at a price that was too tempting. Carrot cake anyone?

Scratching the gardening itch

January 1, 2011 At 7 AM in the Pacific Northwest it is still dark. First light has not penetrated the dark of this day of ones. Ray had to get up at 4 AM for work so we did not stay up to welcome the new year. I'm wide awake now and though I am trying to just chill, my head is filled with things I want to do today to celebrate the new year.

The Territorial Seed Catalog is almost committed to memory. My palate is ready to experience fresh greens, peas, spinach and bok-choi. There are at least 6 weeks until I can poke peas and radishes into the cold soil. To scratch my itch for growing things I plan to welcome the new year by making a half dozen paper pots to start lettuce and spinach in. Chris will be building a custom fit cloche for my square-foot-garden. His cloches will allow me to set out my salad starts when the peas go in.

The barbecue wok in the picture will be the home of micro-greens if all goes as planned. I love using the wok for grilled veggies in summer but it just sits in the cupboard taking up space for the rest of the year. I have been resisting using it for greens for a while but the urge to grow food is strong this year. The wok will be lined with a square of landscape fabric and mel's mix (hey, the wok is a square, so surly this counts as square foot gardening) before the seed is sprinkled thickly into soil mix. If the seed is still alive there should be a salad to harvest in two to three weeks.

The rest of Deb's New Year's Day plans

1. Make paper pots and start lettuce and spinach
2. Create and start a wok full of macro-greens
3. Inventory last years seed
4. Inventory another pantry self
5. Make pastry for Chris' apple pie (filling in the freezer)
6. Make clam dip for the guys
7. Make today's pantry food, "Black Bean Tostadas"
8. Maybe most important, work on finishing Luke 10 study
9. If there is any more time to the day, finish the grid for this years garden.

I'm sipping green tea today. One of the three gardening magazines Ray bought me yesterday claims that green tea leaves (or maybe it was the tea? humm) are super food for gardening. Cheer's! The sun is up and day one of 2011 looks to be beautiful.

Happy New Year to you and yours!

My Small life, 2010

I have nothing profound to say that would sum um 2010. I live a very small though satisfying life full of passion and people that I love. I did not plan to post a final blog for the year until I read North West Nature Nut's final blog. Thanks Nut!

A quick review of 2010 before the unknown of 2011 unveils.

January 2010

February 2010, we have belonged to Bomber for one year.

March 2010 Getting parsley ready for the new garden. That day it seemed as if we might have a sunny summer. That might have been the last nice week until July

April 2010

May 2010 Rudy; this must have been the one spot of sun in spring

June 2010 Overcast days make pretty pictures.

July 2010 and it still has not got above 69 degrees F

August 2 2010 Chris was the only brightness in the day.

September 2010 Getting ready for the hunt

October 2010

November 2010

December 2010

Thanks for the beautiful idea NWN!

http://www.naturenutnotes.com/2010/12/year-in-review.html

It's beginning to smell a lot like Christmas

We do not have a tree this year. We talked about going to get a little Charlie Brown tree for $5 from a neglected farm in Machias (between Lake Stevens and Granite Falls on Highway 92) but sadly (or not) when we drove by the farm was closed. As far as I can tell, a Christmas tree is pure pagan so I'm not really broke up about it. I've read the doo-dah's about it being evergreen like Jesus or something like that. I am not convinced. It still seems as pagan as a yule log. None the less, it is one of the scents that I enjoy this time of year.

The view out my window is in shades of deep green and gray. There is a damp chill in the air that persists. Even so, I put a jacket on me and another on Rudy; tucked my garden gloves and clippers into a paper grocery bag and walked to the green area behind the house. As much as he likes to cuddle, Rudy is a terrier at heart and needed to run and hunt rodents even if he needed to wear a jacket in the field. After all he is part chihuahua and longs for warmer places than western Washington. We made one loop around the pond with a side trip to the creek and I had enough boughs without doing damage to any one tree or wild holly. I did make a stop in the front yard for Laurel leaves and Spanish lavender that should have been trimmed at summers end to complete the bundle. Add new ribbon to old glass jars and the effect becomes all that I hoped for.

The last of the Christmas Cookies went with Ray to Kimberly Clark last night. They were just a day ahead of stale. Two weeks with the Jr-high spoiled my Christmas Cookie Plans. Not to worry. I have more ribbon and jam to give away. There are a few more biscotti that are fresh, wild blackberry and strawberry jams and Ray plans to make his mother's Nutz and Boltz to stuff into little bags. That should be enough. And if it isn't, please know that in my heart I wanted to find something expensive and unique for you, but it isn't happening this year.

By the way, The idea for pretty jars of greens came from reading Northwest Nature Nut at http://www.naturenutnotes.com/2010/12/holiday-goodness.html

The Jam idea was stolen from Momma Pea of A Homegrown Journal at
http://ahomegrownjournal.blogspot.com/2010/12/dear-mama-pea.html