On Growing Weary; Isaiah 40: 27-31

"Enter by the narrow gate; for the gate is wide, and the way is broad that leads to destruction, and many are those who enter by it.  "For the gate is small, and the way is narrow that leads to life, and few are those who find it.  Matthew 7:13-14 NAS

I have chosen the way of life. I have bound myself to YHVH. Very unexpectedly I sense a weariness in my walk. Where does that come from? To my surprise, I find that I am like the children of Israel who marched out of Egypt in triumph, witnessing things I can only imagine. 

And the rabble who were among them had greedy desires; and also the sons of Israel wept again and said, "Who will give us meat to eat?  "We remember the fish which we used to eat free in Egypt, the cucumbers and the melons and the leeks and the onions and the garlic,  but now our appetite is gone. There is nothing at all to look at except this manna. " Numbers 11:4-6 NAS

I have not yet come to a place of looking back at the abundance of food, but sometimes I miss being a material girl. I would have denied that label when we still had a big check coming in on a regular schedule. Now, living without that abundance, I can clearly see how much I liked things as much as I liked my religious choices. My life is still very easy. We have a home, a roof over our heads during the unrelenting Pacific North West rain and cool shelter for those rare hot days. We have food to eat, clothes to wear. We do have a good income, just not as much as we once had. Life is good. And yet there are moments that I want to turn back to an earlier time when we could get out the credit cards, go shopping or take a crazy day out. Our God is asking something different of us now. Shall I act like a spoiled child or do I stand firm on the way? Shall I be like the rabble, who were not hungry, just bored with the menu? Do I love my freedom from slavery or the benefits that come with slavery? 

I chose freedom in the Messiah of Israel, I will continue in him!

I suspect that this is why he gave this warning…

Y’shua said to him, "No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for the kingdom of God." Luke 9:62 RSV

I am often impressed in prayer that we have a privilege during this season of our life. We are preparing for soon coming days that are far more difficult then anything we are experiencing today. Our life feels like a class room, A safe place to learn to depend on YHVH. We thought we were living that way, but with that big monthly check being gone I have come to realize that thankfulness for something and dependence on God are not the same. Thanksgiving is good, but it is easy. My life has not become hard. Hard is what the Kurdish Christians are experiencing.

"If you have run with footmen and they have tired you out, Then how can you compete with horses? If you fall down in a land of peace, How will you do in the thicket of the Jordan?  Jeremiah 12:5 NAS

All these words are just prolog to describe the encouragement I experienced this morning, rising in the dark for the powerful filling of the Ruach as I pray, just as the Valiant Warrior (Proverbs 31: 14-15) that I long to be. I found encouragement in the Word of YHVH to Israel.

Why do you say[1], O kquy[2],

and dabar-speak, O Israel,

"My way is hid from hwhy,

and my mishpat-justice is disregarded by my “Elohiym"?

²⁸ Have you not yada’-seen? Lo! Have you not shama’-heard ‘”Elohiym?

hwhy is ‘owlam-everlasting,

HWHY the Creator of the ends of the earth.

He does not faint nor grow weary,

his understanding is unsearchable.

²⁹ He gives vigor to the faint,

and to him who has no might he increases strength.

³⁰ Even youths shall faint and be weary,

and young men shall fall exhausted;

³¹ but they who wait for[3] hwhy shall renew (spring-up) their vigor,

they shall mount up with wings like eagles,

they shall run (rush) and not be weary,

they shall walk and not faint. Isaiah 40: 27-31

It is not by my strength that I continue in the way but by binding myself to YHVH whose strength is mine…. And in Y’shua ha Machiach it is yours. Be encouraged and put one foot in front of the other. He will get you to the Kingdom on this steep, narrow path.

Shalom

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[1] “to say” rma with a t prefix: when prefixed to a verb stem like amr it indicates 2^nd person, future tense You will (with a suffix it can be 3^rd person, feminine, future tense she will) …why will you say..?

[2] Ya’^aqob, known as Jacob in English

[3] But they that wait for: ywqw (kaw-vaw’); a root meaning “to bind together”. I take this to mean that when my life is folded into YHVH, praying “Thy will be done”